Getting on the scale and seeing no change makes you just want to quit. Quit everything. No more healthy eating. No more gym runs. No more of this. What’s the point? Sigh. The rational Rachel steps in and tries to plead with the frustrated version of myself. “Don’t give up, she says.” “Trust God, she pleads.” “Maybe it was some extra water weight, she offers.” Shut up Rachel.
Ugh. Two nights ago I had a dream or maybe it was a thought, or, well I don’t know. However, what I remember is the following statement: What if I asked you to carry this extra weight 6 more months? I remember the statement so clearly because of how it made me feel. Sick. My stomach dropped. I’m not sure if it was God talking to me or me talking to me (definitely hoping for the latter), but either way, it sticks with me. Kind of like things do when God has said something. As I was processing it yesterday, I was a little bummed, but overall feeling hopeful that I could do it. There are much worse things God could ask me to do! However, as the emotion of it sets in a bit more, it really makes me question things. If I knew nothing was going to change, what would be the motivation to continue moving forward in the same way?
Let me provide an illustration. If you know anything about me, one thing is consistently true: I’m tight with a dollar. I’ve been dragging myself to my local YMCA lately, as I ‘m trying to lose weight, and I’m sick of just making a charitable donation to them every month. Well, a couple of days ago, I was finally able to make myself add Matthias to my membership instead of just paying an extra $2 each time. It would save me money overall, but make my monthly fee go up $5. I was so fixated on it going up! I was so proud of myself for doing that. However, since my weight may not be changing for the next few months, what was the point of all that?!! Ugh.
What is the motivation for moving forward in doing something that’s good if you know you may not see results? As I write, I feel the Holy Spirit speaking this verse in my ear: “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season, we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galations 6:9). I think the hardest part is the not allowing yourself to lose heart. I think that it what happens when you feel like you are stuck. Making no progress. The voices come again: “Why don’t you just quit?!” Things will never be different. See, this is a waste of your time!
Perhaps. But perhaps not. I still don’t know if that voice was the Holy Spirit preparing me for the frustration I was going to experience for the next few months. I still hope it was just me talking to myself! Ha! But, if not, I might need to believe the truth of this verse a little more seriously. I will praying that you all don’t lose heart today. I don’t what you are pushing toward, but don’t quit. Really. God is faithful. He has a plan. And he’s not trying to make you look like a fool. Really. Keep moving forward.
