It means so much when we can see the impact of our health behaviors. You change your diet, and you notice the scale move. You increase your physical activity, and you notice you are getting stronger, and your clothes are fitting better. It’s rewarding to see that it matters.
But, what if you are in a season where you don’t see the outcome of your behaviors? You eat differently, you work out, and you see absolutely nothing on the scale. Will you still go forward? Will you still practice your health behaviors? Will you still live with intention?
I believe I am preparing to enter one of the seasons. My heart drops just thinking about it. I was here before, and to be honest, it was no fun. However, I think I handled myself well. I was faithful. I worked out, ate as well as I knew how to in the season, and it didn’t benefit the scale. Not one bit. I remember regularly running laps with my workout partner, but actually ended up gaining weight. If it was not for the grace of God, I would have been so discouraged. However, I wasn’t it. For some reason, I just wasn’t.
I think we are coming to a place in the discussion about weight loss, where we realize, promoting health behaviors is way more important. Often, you don’t have control of your weight. Actually, you really don’t have control over it at all. You cannot tell your body to lose the pounds. All you can do is throw as much at it as you can and hope that it makes a difference.
I did learn one thing in that season—–I am so much more than that weight. It really doesn’t define me. Some days I feel like it does, but I am ever seeing that all of me is enough, whether it’s more to love or less of me to love. Though I look back and remember the seasons where I carried less weight, I also realize that carrying less weight did not automatically mean my life was any better. In fact, I was much happier in the last season I had where I weighed nearly 300 pounds. It was a great season in my life. God is healing, perfecting me, restoring me, all while the outside looked like death was near my doorstep. I was growing so much on the inside. It was beautiful.
I prefer to be thinner. I also know that I prefer to be whole. And wholeness does not equate with a number on the scale. It doesn’t. Wholeness is the sum total of our soul ties, our heart longings, and the emotional and spiritual health that we have achieved in our inner most parts.
I’ve wanted to be thinner, but God has me on a journey to wholeness. Not necessarily the same thing. It looks so much different than I thought it would look, but as I continue to travel, I find I am at peace.