As we come to the end of the year, I think this a time for reflection. I am praising God that I have lost 11 pounds since August. I am, however, still cognizant of the areas where I need to grow. While 11 pounds may be praiseworthy, I am not satisfied. At this pace, we will have a LONG road ahead of us. Below are the things I have learned in the last few months:
- It was harder than I thought it would be
When I first started this weight journey in August, I thought I by now, I would have been down 20-30 pounds. Yea, no. That is not how things went. My weight loss was easier in some ways, but overall, these last few months have felt long. Things have not moved as fast as I thought they would, and it was discouraging. I thought I knew, but this 36-year-old body is much different than the 22-year-old body that was originally losing weight. All my lessons are important, but the implementation is not the same. There is something different I have to do in this season.
- I wasn’t ready to make a true sacrifice
I think I thought that if I just kept eating what I normally eat and work out, then I would lose the weight. And I did—in the beginning. But, now, none of what I was doing is working. I have officially plateaued, and I have been in the same spot for weeks now. I did eat my salads, and I did go workout, but OVERALL, I ate what I wanted to. And while that worked for me in my twenties, now that my foundation is not overeating, and regular exercise, I need to do more to push that number. More intense working out, more often. More healthful meals. More often. Less pizza and less dessert. More often. I think things just have to be a bit tighter. My body is like “been there done that.” I need to do something different.
- If it is in my house, I am going to eat it.
Yea, I can make cookies, dessert, and other “fun” foods all I want, but if it is in my house, I am going to find it really hard to not eat at least some of it. No overeating, but still enjoying it. And my old self was ok with that, but I just think all the rules are different. I am really considering whether I need to make a hard cut to some of my favorites for a few months—just to get the weight down. I can always return later, or somewhat return later, but for now, I am getting to the place where “enough is enough.” I don’t want to be this size in four months. Like, NO. I REALLY DON’T.
- I have a rebellious spirit
I don’t know when this started, but I have just realized that I have been rebelling against the traditions of nutrition. In my HEART, I still operate from a “good to me” vs. “good for me” eating paradigm. Yes, at times I make healthy eating choices, however, I know I still have not fully committed to a life of healthful eating. Even in these last few months, I have been engaging in behaviors that I KNOW in previous seasons I learned not to do (e.g., order pizza every week). For this reason, I have just started counting calories with the Lose It App. It provides me encouragement and accountability to make more healthful eating choices. It will also be my way of repenting from the arrogance in my heart that has peppered many of my eating choices.
I do feel hopeful about 2018. I am grateful for all I have been learning, and know that this will benefit others, and myself. Happy New Year, friends.
