So, just maybe, that thought I had about not losing weight for another 6 months was actually God letting me know what is going to be happening these next few months. Got on the scale this morning. Weight is the same. Since I had my revelation last week, I’ve been exercising more frequently, even working out more than 3 times last week. Eating about the same. But no change. And honestly, I don’t think there is going to be a change. For 6 months. But, what I’m going to have to do is workout for this entire 6 months without any reinforcement on the scale. God got me. LOL. He sure knows how to discipline this child. After these 6 months, I won’t pull this stunt anymore. Never again.
At some point during my post-preganacy months, I saw the scale go down after I attempted to be more intentional about exercise. However, the next week, the scale went up 3 pounds ( after more pizza and cake), and I got frustrated and quit. I saw some things online about certain breastfeeding mothers retaining weight, and I just knew that had to be me. There couldn’t be any other reason why I wouldn’t lose weight, could there? . Well, the breastfeeding is obviously not the answer. I stopped more than a month ago. No weight change. What is probably more likely is that my lazy butt should have been exercising more consistently and working hard at weight change, instead of taking God’s grace for granted and existing in laziness. Did I tell you that the gym I am a member of ( 1 min up the street) would watch the baby for little to no cost for 2 hours while I exercise? Ask me how consistently I took advantage of that. Once I chose to believe that I wasn’t going to lose any weight during breastfeeding, my motivation to exercise became practically non-existent. Shame.
Truth: I could have probably lost this weight 6 months ago. By working hard at it. That sucks to realize. But instead, I will have to keep this weight for another 6 months. And work hard anyway. I clearly see what God is calling me to do: go the gym consistently, even if there is no change on the scale. Gulp.
All I can do is shake my head. That’s it. I know me. And I know that once I saw that I could eat and maintain my weight and not exercise, my relationship with the gym was over. Done. Finished. How am I going to be encouraging people to lose weight if I am not going to model the discipline of healthy living? Wow. I think I’m going to have to let that settle for awhile.
On Sunday, one of the pastors at my church preached a message on how God often places us in situations where he causes us to “dig deep so that we can build high.” She used an illustration about the Three Pigs, and how we should not be building “straw houses.” Personally, I’m all about the high. Being on the mountain. Getting to the destiny. I live my life building straw houses. Ask my friends. I’m all about doing as little as I can to get the results I need. And that friends, is precisely what needs to change in this season. God has never been pleased, and will not allow that behavior trait to continue to be part of my character. Sigh. Can I just say I don’t care for the digging section of the season? Ha. Let me find my shovel. #beingmadetobebetter
