CHOOSING a new relationship with food

Every day I have to choose. Every day. I have to remind myself-not the old way. No longer. You have been raised to life in Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ that lives within me.

Some days are harder than others. Especially during COVID-19.

I remember and I still experience the sensation of  “just wanting to eat.” Food served as a pseudo-source; it was supposed to make things better, and it did…until it didn’t. I often felt like I made the “Ursula” deal (remember? From “The Little Mermaid”?) when I chose to satisfy my needs with food; at first, I felt like I won, but later awoke to realize more of my freedom had been taken, hastening my plight to end up in chains.

I have to choose.

Its the hardest when my heart is screaming. It is the moments when I am full of emotion, feelings raging like a river inside of me. My flesh raises up like a screaming toddler, demanding I satisfy it RIGHT NOW. DEMANDING.

But, I have learned. I ignore the voice. I turn aside. I move in a new direction.

Instead, I have learned to utter these words. Ever so softly. God help. Help your daughter. Aid this heart that is so overwhelmed.

And HE DOES. He really does. The way he does it looks different every time

, but often, I awake to see the storm has passed. Unbeknownst to me, somewhere between a crying heart and thunder clouds, my God has saved the day.

Isn’t that what we want? To be rescued? To be made whole? To breathe again once more?

Praise be to the God who does all things well. Selah.